Barnaby Briard (b-dog) 's Dog Blog

 Heyy, this is me chillaxin as a youngster!

  Rain and Tears . . . 1st February 2014

Wet, wet, wet. and not the group – I’m more of a beach boys type, myself. it’s all about retro – I’m a retro dog – you know, good in the old-fashioned way. it’s important to keep up with the fashion of the times – like I wear a leather collar (retro), but no studs (current) … this weather means I can’t go out – well, I could, I suppose, if getting wet was something I liked. but I don’t, so I don’t. inside? gooood. outside? baaad.

I’ve learned a new word: kitchen. kitchen means I run to the kitchen and I meet mom there. no matter where I am in the house or outside, if she says ‘kitchen!’ in her let’s-have-fun voice, then off I go, straight to the kitchen and then mom comes running in and I get a treat AND a hug. mom thinks I’m ever so clever to have learned ‘kitchen’ – she’s just as happy as she was when I learned ‘living room’ … living room is my favourite because I get a stick. but kitchen is cool, too.

mom was really laughing last night when she finally realized that I knew what ‘tea’ means – tea means kitchen AND treats for all of us: me, mom & grandmamma. then it’s time for ‘living room’ and I get a stick. mom says it’s no wonder I’m a bit of a podge.

this week I started eating raw food. mom says it’s more natural – well, she didn’t think of it herself, she spent a crazy amount of time away from me at the store (I hate the word store. when she says ‘I’m just going to the store” – it means mom leaves for AGES and there’s no-one to pat me or kiss me). anyway, I get some steak with my pebbles now – and the pebbles taste better, too. i like this kind of food – it’s really fab. and I eat it all right away.

mom’s been very sad this week – she said we were going to get a sister, but now we’re not. grandmamma sat with mom and they had a very serious (uh-oh) kind of talk – and the talk meant that we can’t have a sister. there was a lot of water leaking from mom’s eyes and I had to get in her lap and lick her face to make her stop. so now when she’s looking at dogs on the magic light box, I go and stand next to her and put my head in her lap. we both like that and it makes us both happier.

  Good Dog . . . Weird Week! . . . 24th January 2014

been looking and looking and looking, but can’t find ANY tennis balls to chew. mom says they’re bad for me, I say: what’s a little barfing between friends? so I’ve saved the last bitty-bit of a rawhide and been playing with that – it’s not so good as a ball – no bouncing and none of those squeaky noises I love, but it makes mom laugh when I do my special dance around the rawhide knot.

mom’s been talking all week about getting me a sister. what’s a sister? does it taste good? she and grandmamma are having “talks” A LOT about this sister thing – grandmamma isn’t so keen (should I be worried? which thing would I worry about? getting a sister or not getting a sister???).

outside has been unhappy – so much rain. and mom got sick again, so she won’t go outside. so I don’t want to go outside. even though there’s loads of puddles for me to bounce in and get wet - then I get rubbed with a big towel and it feels goooooood! but if mom’s staying in, then I am, too. kinda missing those puddles, if I’m honest. and I am because I’m a good dog.

got some new food this week – not sure if I like it, though. rascal likes it A LOT. he keeps sss-ing at me when he wants to eat from my bowl. I tried once to point out that it was MY bowl, but he just kept on eating and sss-ing if I got too close. and scout has been hiding out in the sink in the shop – I can’t reach the sink. and I’ve tried. scout just curls up in there, purring (SO annoying) – I think he knows I can’t reach. do you think he likes it that I can’t reach? it means I can’t boof him – I thought he liked that? I wanted him to like it – I REALLY like doing it! mom doesn’t like it so much, though.

we got a new rolling box – mom says grandmamma burned out the clutch on the other one. what’s a clutch? does it taste good? but this box doesn’t have a big space in the back for me and it doesn’t have my pillows in it. I have to jump onto a “seat” (what’s a seat? does it taste good?) and I have to be a good dog and sit really still and do my best to hold on – it’s kinda fun, but also kinda scary – especially going around corners.

today I really wanted to bark. don’t know why – it just seemed like the right thing to do, you know? every time I heard something, somewhere, I ran around and barked or whenever got a little too quiet in the house? I barked. A LOT. and mom and grandmamma come and talk to me immediately and sometimes I get patted and sometimes I get a treat if I stop. I love this game! and I’m getting really good at it. 


  Growly Needy Yum-Yum Things!! . . .17th January 2014

b-dog blog.

b-dog say: WOOF.


so, tonight i was being ever so good – truly – and waiting patiently (sort of – it’s a special thing, briard-patience – it doesn’t always look like regular patience) for my stick – mom always gives me a stick at 10pm – she & grandmamma have tea & i have a stick. every night. it’s what we do. here’s how it goes: after their tea, mom says “living room” and i run straight to her couch & sit beside it, with my best i-know-what’s-coming-and-i-can’t-wait face – she likes this face a lot, so it’s our thing. anyway, back to now, like i said, it feels later than 10pm. but even though it feels SO much later than 10pm – like really, really, really later – and i’ve got that growly-needing-yum-yum thing in my stomach, you know? – there’s no stick. and mom hasn’t got up from the couch – but i want a stick. like i want it NOW. so i nudged her with my paw (that usually gets her attention) and she was pretty good, actually. she got up & asked me what i needed, so i took her to the kitchen and waited by the big, cold white box (she keeps my sticks on top of the box). and she did take a stick-like thing off the top & said “living room” (like it was our normal thing) & off i trotted … only to be given this tiny stick-ish hard thing. not my regular stick – i love my regular stick. so i spat it out. neatly (because i’m a good boy), on her foot. mom laughed, but didn’t get up again to fix it. so i pawed her again. and she laughed. but that was it. i mean, COME ON. get my stick! do it. do it NOW. be a good mom. still nothing. so i leaned in real close & woofed in her face (she knows i’m serious if i woof-face her) and, can you believe it? she just said “NO”. my very least favourite word. so i woof-faced her AGAIN – you know, just to make my point. but all i got was another “NO”.

hmmm. what to do? maybe she didn’t understand? maybe she’s tired & can’t remember what i like? so off i trot to get my really big rawhide bone & then i brought it back to her and laid it, ever so gently, by her feet. still no sign of a stick. so i went & got my bone with stuff inside (well, it used to have stuff inside …) and i dropped it, not quite as gently, on her feet. i kept bringing her stick-like things until there was a really impressive pile, but i never did get my stick. (note from barnaby’s mom: we’d run out of sticks, but try explaining that to a briard …)


poor mom. she’s still sick – but i take really good care of her & protect her from all the scary noises – like that one just now. an intruder? another dog? mom says “it’s just the wind” – like that’s going to make me feel better – i mean, seriously? have you seen what the wind can do? it can blow my ball far away just as i’m about to pick it up or it can make creepy noises come from the trees or chase the watering-can around the courtyard. even though mom’s not worried, i am being extra vigilant & am lying on top of her - just to make sure she’s safe – and when she puts her arms around me, then i know for sure we’re both gonna be ok.


ages ago, mom’s friend, glynis told her about this stuff called evening primrose oil and how it would help all my allergies and make me feel so much better than the steroids which make me a little goofy and crazy-hungry all the time. mom didn’t believe her & was, i thought, kinda rude to glynis about alternative therapies. boy, is she regretting that now! i’ve been on this rosey-oily stuff for a whole week & i feel SO good! no more scratching or biting – which is really excellent since it’s kinda embarrassing to bite yourself – even when no-one’s looking.

we’ve been training again – i’m a clever boy (that’s what mom says … mostly) and i remember what mom wants when she says things in her “let’s-be-serious now” voice. my favourite thing is “what do you do?” – because i know that lying down is what i do. and there’s usually a treat and a “good!” – i love being good! even though it’s hard sometimes to be good when i want to do the other thing … 


mom’s been trying to get me out of the courtyard for a couple of weeks now – but i don’t like it outside the courtyard – and sometimes i don’t like it much inside the courtyard either. see, there’s all these loudnesses & they make me jump or worry or want to get on the couch & be patted – anything but being out in the middle of the noise. but this morning, i was feeling a bit braver & we went up the hill together – mom was SO proud of me & i got lots of patting & kissing and ‘good dog’ was said A LOT. maybe i’ll do it again later?

stay tuned for more fun times with b-dog! 

  Hissssss!! Rascal's Cat Blog . . . 17th January 2014

I am a cat. You may wonder what I am doing here. My name is Rascal (they called me that). Nobody asked me. I would have preferred KING as I am obviously in charge. Barnaby, my dog, has other ideas as you may know. I am a successful hunter unlike Barnaby who gets given all his food. I am big and black and if "they" are to be believed, beautiful.

I can get them to do whatever I want because I yell at them until they get it. Sometimes they don't which is very annoying because they are supposed to be smarter than me. In between eating, sleeping and hunting I like to tease Barnaby and groom my brother, Scout. He is more thoughtful than me and not as quick and he is afraid of Barnaby because Barnaby tried to eat him. I am not afraid of anyone except clanging pots and pans because I am confident of my superior nature. Barnaby is trying to get me right now but I am on the kitchen table so he can't reach and I can keep an eye on the butter. I will try and keep up with this if my schedule permits.

  Surf’s up & so is breakfast . . . 10th January 2014

Ok, taking some time off – just to throw mom off the scent – she’s so funny, she thinks I'm learning to leave scout (my cat) alone (“be a good dog, Barnaby” … yeah, right!), but really I'm just waiting for the right moment – when mom least expects it … works every time! I don’t know why scout won’t play with me – every time I grab him, he howls & runs away. I mean, sure, i sometimes nudge him a teeny-weeny bit with my teeth, you know, just for motivation, but – honest – i only want to play. once, i tried carrying scout in my mouth but, boy, does that make mom crazy – the noises she made hurt my ears – i swear i was tempted to run in circles.

had such a good time at sally’s house with my friend, moja – she causes so much chaos that it makes me look sooo good & well-trained! and when no-one was looking, i ate the rubber ball under the table. mmm, mmm. i sure do love those toys. grandmamma might have seen me eat that ball, but she’s not telling … so far.

mom’s busy in the shop with lots of people .. but she doesn’t let me in because i wreck the place & she says the people don’t like it when i lick their tea cakes. but because i’m very clever, i know that if i sit outside the windows, looking pitiful – especially if it’s raining – she’ll let me in. then i get to play my favourite shop-game - wagging my tail to see if i can knock over the shampoo AND the conditioner – that shelf is SO much fun! usually my best place to play is the beach – but it’s been kinda totally scary this week. those waves – jeepers. so much noise & they’re really wet! i don’t like that. even when i’m lying on the couch at night, the waves have been super-growly & make me bark – you know, just in case they’re coming for us. and the wind was blowing so hard that the gates are shaking – and i had to bark at that, too. it’s always best, i think, to be on the safe side & make a big noise until the scary stuff goes away. it usually works, too – and mom always pats me & kisses me when i protect her. even though the beach is a bit too scary – i do like the seaweed! YUM! lots and lots of seaweed has washed up. but, oops. maybe i ate a little too much of that seaweed – or maybe it was the rubber ball? or maybe that stuff i found in the lane? mom kept saying it was really gross and making that wrinkled face she makes when i’m eating street-treasures that smell amazing.

oh, yeah. something’s definitely up - i’ve barfed for 5 days and i don’t like it. it’s not even a little bit fun. but mom’s patting me an awful lot & she rubs my stomach and whispers in my ear – so maybe this barfing thing isn’t so bad? nope, mom took me in the car, and it was FAR. and then we were at the place that smells weird & everyone’s wearing green. this one was a new weird-smelling place – but james was there. usually i like james, but tonight he got out one of those sharp, pointy things i don’t like at all. so i barked at him, right in his face. ha. see how much you like that. but he still stuck me with the sharp, pointy thing – TWICE. james better watch out next time. just saying.

so, now it’s friday – and i’m feeling really good! but mom’s sick now. maybe she ate too much seaweed or a rubber ball? i wonder if she has to go see james? grandmamma is taking me & moja out for a run … mostly i like going with mom because she hugs me a lot & i don’t really have to do anything – but grandmamma makes me actually run. she’s much stricter than mom. but she does give me bigger treats – even though mom says i’m a podge. that’s it for this week, gang! be good – or as good as you can, it’s all relative you know … b-dog.